He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
