Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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