I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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