if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
