i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
