There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
