Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
