Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Damn victory sex feels great
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
