why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
