he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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