lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
