I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i think i just lost a toe
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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