I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize