We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
