Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
