Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
