Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
