Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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