i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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