Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
