Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
