sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
