I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
