I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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