also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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