are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You can't special order awesome
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
