what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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