whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
