bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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