: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
