Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
BRING THE BAGELS
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
