no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
