dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize