he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize