everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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