We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
