Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
