i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
