I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
