let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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