oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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