He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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