ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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