It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
