Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
