do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
