Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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