I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
