He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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