Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
