Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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