Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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