I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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