would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
