I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
