I just saw a hot homeless man
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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