My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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