How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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