After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Operation Purity has been aborted
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
