His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
