i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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