i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
