I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize